Personal Testimony

Firstly, I am not a therapist, councilor or Doctor of Psychology.  This blog is not intended to be taken as professional advice.  This blog is simply a place for encouragement to women and men who are married to an addict.  These are verses and thoughts that have encouraged me in my own experience with life with an addict. I write from a perspective of a WIFE to a husband with Addiction, but these verses and words of encouragement are universal.  There are all types of LOVE that God has blessed us with and the need for an addict to have a spiritual rock (you) in the midst of addiction is paramount.  

• I subscribe to the idea that I made a marriage vow of faithfulness to my husband to remain married through good times and bad and in sickness and in health.  This commitment was made before drugs entered our lives and before the pain and hurt that inevitably follows in a life with an addict.   
• I subscribe to the belief that GOD is all powerful.  More powerful than the addiction and is capable of full restoration and complete healing.  
• I subscribe to the belief that I will be rewarded for my faithfulness and that all that I have suffered at the hands of this addiction will inevitably strengthen me and carve me into the woman that God destined me to be. 

I began this blog out of frustration in finding adequate Christian based support.  I turned to many Churches that offered support groups and recovery programs only to be disappointed that they did not address the needs of the women and men who CHOSE to stay in the marriages with an Addict.  I was referred to Al Anon, but with its quasi spiritual focus I desired more spiritual based encouragement and help.  This led me to much devotion and focus on what I could do to fill this gap and that is what gave me the desire to create this space for encouragement.  

There is a tremendous amount of focus on the Addict themselves, the behaviors and the pain that they are inflicting in their own lives, but what about the family members and loved ones of those around them?  Correct, Biblical and spiritual support of a loved one suffering from addiction is crucial in the recovery over addition.  A loving support is a tether line to a place where the addict knows he/she wants to be but doesn't believe that deserve.  However, as difficult as it is to understand this point, it is the most important bit of information that I can give you: YOU WILL NOT BE THE REASON THAT THEY GET BETTER.  An addict will not stop because of you.  An addict will stop when they decide to stop.  It is a personal choice they have to come to. All that you can do is to LOVE.  As difficult as it is accepting this is the first step in making peace in your own life.

I encourage you to read the Bible. I encourage you to journal, or sing, or write poetry or draw, paint, whatever.  There are many ways of worshiping God and no clear cut way of doing this, you may be more artistic and find your time with Christ in a medium of paint and easel or with your voice or pen and paper, whatever works for you I encourage you so seek it daily to help keep in communicate with Christ and build the friendship between you and God.  You're going to need it!  I encourage you to practice "breathe prayers" prayers that you can recite to yourself during times of trial throughout the day.  These will be like a compass point to remind you, even in the most difficult times what your ultimate goal is.  I also encourage meditation or focused thinking on ideas that will help ground you and your resolve of commitment.  

You are not alone.  Nothing you have experienced at the hand of addiction is unique to just you.  You did not cause the addiction and you will not be the reason it gets better. You may or may not have chosen to be married to Addict, but God designs all things and knows all things and there is a reason you are here.  

God bless you,

Brandi