But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. Genesis 2:17

Discussion:

Boundaries are extremely important when living with an addict.  Boundaries protect us both spiritually and physically from harm.  As a loved one of an addict we can often be caught up, even without our knowing, in crimes or be victims of pains or hurt that are often associated with the life of addiction.  Creating boundaries and carrying out the consequences can be very hard!  Tough love is just that tough.  Not only on ourselves, but sometimes on our family members who can't understand our motives and on the addict themselves.  They are necessary!  Even God set boundaries for man when he created the Garden of Eden and when the boundary line was broken Christ was brokenhearted, but he fulfilled his warnings even though it was painful for Him.  Boundaries are not to be created as ways of controlling an addict, but they should be motivated out of love, carried out in love and the consequences must be followed through.  Sometimes, they can be difficult to even create boundaries or define them but they should be centered around your safety, the safety of your family, your personal moral beliefs and anything that create pain in your life that may lead to segregation from Christ or your faith.  Boundaries should be expressed clearly to your loved ones.  God had a specific rule: if you do this than I will do this.  So should you express your boundary; "If you are high around the kids than I will not permit you see them without a negative drug test."  In this example you are setting a boundary that is to protect your children.  Your are not threatening them, "You will never see your children again!"  But, you are doing your part in creating a safe environment for your children and your children deserve to be in a healthy relationship with their father/mother/sibling, protected from influence of the drug.  The decision then is on the lap of the addict.  You have opened the door to them and hopefully they will choose their family over getting high.  Tell your loved one when during a time when there is no anger like during a fight or directly following one.  Boundaries have to be set when you are in the right frame of mind.  Follow through with your consequence.  Just as children, addicts know when your bluffing and they will call your bluff!  There is no doubt that whatever boundary you place your addict will test you.  Be firm, be in peace and be in Christ when you deliver your consequence.  It is so hard to separate yourself from the pain and hurt and even if you need to seek the support of someone else to vent and to draw encouragement from before addressing the issue do this!  Someone suffering from addiction loves to throw you into chaos, when emotions are high they find it easier to manipulate you, this is part of the drama that addiction creates often referred to as drug drama.

Breathe Prayer:

Lord give me the courage to love even when it is difficult.


Meditation:

If you have not set boundaries in your relationship pray and spend time in meditation focusing on what is important to your health and protection and what you value.  Jot them down and what are the consequences of breaking those boundaries?  Pray that you motivation is based out of your faith and not out of desires to control a situation.  Pray that God will show you the opportunity to share you boundary with your loved one in a way that you can express your love for them and your concern for your own safety in peace.